Archive for the ‘weight weight just love me’ Category

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Presentation – Day 57

Monday, November 16th, 2015

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Love is the key ingredient in every amazing presentation.

Love is the key ingredient in every amazing presentation.

I read a great article in Psychology Today yesterday about the futility of weight loss.   One of the reasons that so resonated with me was the one on the idea that you will “look” better at a lower weight.    This paragraph brought home the whole essence of this 66 day challenge to love myself more:

“For argument’s sake, let’s say that you had your “ideal body” and were supremely happy with your appearance. The reality of life remains that our bodies will change as we age, so, ultimately, putting all of your worth and value into your appearance is akin to boarding a sinking ship…..

…..What if instead of trying to manipulate or control your weight, you focused on loving and accepting your body exactly as it is now?”

I’ve noticed that people who were really gorgeous, as in model gorgeous, when they were younger actually seem to suffer more from nostalgia about the good ole’ days then those of us who were more plan o plan o.  I was actually fortunate to have had to work on my own internal joie de vivre rather than focusing on my external appearance.  This afforded me the luxury of spending more time in making a difference in the world rather than on striving towards some unrealistic appearance ideal of who I never was going to be anyhow.  I am after all short, and round with brown hair and brown eyes.  A decade ago a friend’s parents had visited my homes, yet had not met me after a couple years of seeing where I lived.  Her mother said to her, “I envision Michelle is a tall willowy blonde.”  It is a kick too when people meet me in person and are surprised I look like I do – the comment usually is – “you are so much shorter than I envisioned.”  We live in such a biased world about what people feel a successful women (even person) should look like.  I still remember the sting of a short lived public relations (PR) advisor who said he could not promote me until I lost 5o pounds as he did not like my “presentation.”  Yeah, he did not stick around for long in that PR position.

I do however agree presentation does matter. But presentation is so much more than external physical appearance.  What matters is how people feel when they are around you. Do they feel loved, appreciated, seen, heard, valued and acknowledged for the special gifts they share?  My daughter Kate is very good at this.  I remember one such time when she was in eighth grade and I had gone to her school to watch her final year end project presentation.  A boy before her was so visibly nervous about his presentation.  He was not as visually prepared as the other kids with their final projects – yet it was obvious he had put a lot of time into crafting his presentation with the comedic timing of his story.  I sent him love throughout and when all the kids were done, I sought him out.  I told him his story helped me recognize how important it was to love people for who they were (he was teasing his mother for her perpetual dieting) and that I really enjoyed his sense of humor and his diligence with how he kept his topic light and fun (it was all about love and acceptance).  He so lit up and Kate pointed out to me how I had this knack for making people’s day by acknowledging their genius. I felt so seen for my gifts by her recognizing this in me.

Presentation for me is about congruence.  Do all the parts line up?   My sweetheart is fantastic at presentation with food – but what makes it even more incredible is the flavor lines up as well.  The love and devotion put into crafting the meal comes in for the home run with the final presentation.  In a world of window dressing where we have photo shop’d perfection,  experiencing presentation that permeates many layers deep activates my heart.  With loving myself more, I realize I’m just sensing the mirror of my own well spring of love – this is how I present to the outside world as well.

 

Kate’s comment: when people let me help them with their weight loss journeys, I start by asking what their motivations are. I tell them they don’t have to tell me right there and then – sometimes motivations take awhile to make themselves clear. They don’t even need to tell me, if it’s too personal or difficult to say – what matters is that they know their motivation. Most of the time clients say, “I want to lose 30 pounds for my high school reunion so I look as good as I did then” – which totally resonates with what you said about people who peak and suffer from nostalgia.

I ask them to look a bit deeper into why they might want to lose weight. Because a weight loss journey is a path, people normally hit upon the “love thy body no matter the image” crossroad – do we keep going with the healthy lifestyle, or do we quit because the motivation was skin-deep, and we learn to love ourselves no matter what?

If the motivation is health-based (like: I want to decrease my cholesterol so that I can survive to watch my kid graduate high school), this is much more likely to stick through the tough times and the positive body-image crossroad.

Positive body-image is a really excellent milestone to hit – which is why it would be disappointing if it derailed other excellent milestones. The sooner body-image is separated from health, the better.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Comfort – Day 56

Sunday, November 15th, 2015
I found my way to comfort and ease by selling the goat.

I found my way to comfort and ease by selling the goat.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

In teaching yoga, I’ve learned to find true comfort takes being pushed to an edge.  There is a story we learned in yoga teacher training about a man who lived in a small shack with his wife and six small children.  He went to talk with the priest in his village about the chaos that was in his home and what he could do about it.  He was counseled to get a goat and have it live inside the home with them.  Several weeks go by with the goat in the home and he cannot figure out how in the world was this noisy, smelly goat living with them supposed to make their life any easier.  In a fit of absolute frustration, he sells the goat.  With the goat gone, the house became a haven of comfort for the whole family.

I’ve pondered this story many times when things seem absolutely chaotic in my life.  How can I find my way back to comfort and ease from an edge?  Often I don’t even know I’m on an edge – except that my life feels anything but comfortable and easy.  That is the tell of a goat somewhere in my existence that needs to go.

Being comfortable as a normal state of being – well that gets rather boring.  I like being pushed to my edges.  How am I supposed to extend the envelope of what is possible for me unless I’m willing to go out there?   But living “out there” is not where I want to be all the time.  Spending more time doing and teaching yoga, has me realizing it is helpful for me to occasionally go to an edge, but for the most part, I now prefer coming back to a place of comfort and ease.  What has been interesting is loving myself more – that place of comfort and ease is easier to find.  And being easier to find, helps me go to a new edge more readily.  That is to take more chances, being more confident I can find my way back “home” to my stable base of an ever loving self.  This extends to the work projects I’m willing to pursue, to the clarity in which I can move the “goats” out of my life, to the loving guidance I can hear from others I may have ignored before as it pushed on my edges.  Comfort is my new home – from which I can soar.

 

Kate’s comment: Our comfort zone is a relative place. If the boundaries were never pushed, wouldn’t the comfort zone be the size of a postage stamp? I think that by attempting to make yourself uncomfortable (thus pushing to your edges), you’re actually helping expand your comfort zone – ensuring that regardless of the situation, you’ll be comfortable. Doesn’t that sound like nirvana?

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Worth It – Day 54

Friday, November 13th, 2015

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Loving myself more helps me make it more of a priority to do yoga.

Loving myself more helps me make it more of a priority to do yoga.

My dietitian has this program called “Is it Worth It?”  when making decisions on what to eat.   Sometimes there are things that are worth it for whatever my very good reasons are at the time.  Her point with this effort is to make conscious choices about what I’m consuming rather than doing mindless eating.   I’ve taken to applying this in other parts of my life as well.

I woke up today an hour before I needed to get going and was contemplating if I should get up and do yoga or roll over and sleep for another hour.  I decided it was not worth it to sleep for another hour, but it was worth it to get up and do yoga.  The new litmus test on is it “worth it”  is what choice is the most loving for myself in the moment and beyond.  This AM, my low back was sore.  Being in bed for another hour wasn’t going to help my low back, but getting up and doing yoga would.  So the most loving decision this AM, was the yoga.  Tomorrow it might be a different choice and that is for me to decide then.  If I  decide today what will be the right choice for tomorrow, I will get to make that decision again.  I trust tomorrow I will make the best choice for me based on what is happening then.

 

Kate’s comment: When I think of “Is It Worth It?”, I think of a game show-style setup where contestants from around the country compete. The prize? Satisfaction and assuredness – and everyone can be a winner. The entire crowd cheers when the host enters, and they chant “IS…. IT…. WORTH IT?”. It sounds like you had a very successful episode this morning, evaluating what was worth it at that time for you.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Beauty – Day 53

Thursday, November 12th, 2015

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

I fell in love with this tree on my walk yesterday. Today I became a tree hugger. The Mom that I am, I made sure to let all the other plants around it know I loved them too.

I fell in love with this tree on my walk yesterday. Today I became a tree hugger. The Mom that I am, I made sure to let all the other plants around it know I loved them too (and why).

I get to enjoy the neighborhood several times a day as I take my little dog out to do her business.   Every walk is just a little different, but what is always the same – I notice something delightful.   The past couple of days it’s been the beauty of the mature stately trees on our standard loop.  Last night, out on our walk, this odd crumudgeon flipped a u-turn pulled up beside me and barked at me for staring at him – really dude?   I hadn’t noticed him at all – I was admiring the gorgeous red bush across the street.  I stated as much, he sped off.  It got me thinking, maybe I should have remarked about his beauty too…..  Probably better that I hadn’t as I really don’t want to need this security system I just installed.  I’d rather have a paranoid curmudgeon angry about my adoring gaze (not directed at him) – rather than a stalker.  I did bless him with stability and peace in his heart as he sped away.

Beauty is all around – it’s a choice to notice it.  To his own detriment, anger man was choosing to notice something different than I was.  When I make the choice as I do on these little breaks in the day I get to take with my pup, I’m always surprised at what appears (usually in good ways).  What is always the same though is how these delights open my heart and let the light of love flow in.  No matter what is going on, about five minutes into the walk, I feel lighter, happier, all is right with the world just the way it is. Regardless of how others are experiencing our same reality.

A few months ago, my friend and colleague Scot Nichols taught me this little exercise where you start with your thumb and forefinger at the side corner of your eye and watch it as you move your hand to the edge of your peripheral vision.   It is an interesting eye exercise to not only expand your peripheral vision, but it also gives the sensory feeling of seeing things as brighter.  It’s like a photoshop filter for your brain to enhance whatever you are seeing.  Whenever I do it, I do notice things more vibrantly and beautiful.  I wonder if it’s as much too that  I’m pausing in the busyness of my brain to take time to do so.  I’m sure both are contributing and I do like the effect it has on me.

I’ve found beauty is both about being present to even notice and to have an object of adoration.  For me, it’s also enhanced in the presence of love – as when I’m in my heart, open and loving, I more readily notice the beauty in the things of every day life.  I notice the beauty more in myself as well.  So beauty both creates love and exists more vibrantly in love.  After practicing Scot’s exercise recently, I did an experiment and looked at myself in the mirror and asked –  “what is it about me that is so stunningly gorgeous?”   Just saying the words  “stunningly gorgeous” – made it so – it lit up my whole appearance.  I was able to love myself even more.  Give it a try…..

 

Kate’s comment: I love the concept of dominant thought – instead of saying “don’t forget your keys”, saying “remember your keys” is much more likely to help remember your keys. It sounds like the same thing that Scot was working with. Steering speech towards more positive wording makes this loving language the dominant thought.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Showing Up – Day 52

Wednesday, November 11th, 2015

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

The good thing about bad days is they end.

The good thing about bad days is they end.

Yesterday I got to walk my talk.  It was one of those days where chaos emerged at every corner.   A day when my patience was tried, then tried again, and then one more time someone pushed me to an edge I did not want to go to.  Yet it was also the day we were slated to shoot videos for a class where I’m making some significant upgrades – and the topic – “happiness.”  How do you shoot videos on happiness, where you are the leading actress, and well, you’re being challenged every way you turn?

You show up and just do it.  I am finding it far easier to do just that with loving myself more.  As I was loving myself even though I was so aggravated I didn’t even want to be around myself.   It’s one thing to love myself more when I’m behaving in ways that bring me happiness,  quite another when I am in a state that is anything but enjoyable.  I felt like an out of control two year old ready to have a melt down, yet having to get the job done as well, it takes a lot to put everything together to create these videos.

What I am noticing though, is loving myself more is providing for more capabilities elsewhere too.   It’s far easier to review these videos for content, delivery, understandability without cringing at how I look on video. I attribute this to my enhanced capabilities with loving myself.  Deep, enduring happiness is also something that once gained is hard to shake – even on the most trying of days.  And that is something else I’ve discovered on this pursuit of learning how to love myself more – it is grounding me in a very happy place.  Being tested on how this is so everyone in a while is a good thing, a very good thing.

 

Kate’s comment: there are all of these mirrors at the gym in Haines – which initially I thought would be terrible for body image. However, I think that if going to the gym can become a habit for someone, they might find the opposite. Seeing your body doing physical activity actually helps increase appreciation of it, and therefore be able to look beyond the body-image-comparison mindset. For me, the mirrors at the gym helped me love myself more as they helped show me how much stronger I can get. It sounds like watching video of yourself doing yoga turned into a positive experience where you, too, saw how awesome your body is.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – MOJO – Day 51

Tuesday, November 10th, 2015
The idea of an Inspired Eagle Yoga Retreat is to activate bliss. When the folks who get what we're about reach out to me, my gosh does the MOJO flow.

The idea of an Inspired Eagle Yoga Retreat is to activate bliss. When the folks who get what we’re about reach out to me, my gosh does the MOJO flow.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

I first heard the term “MOJO” from a radio host interviewing me about accelerated learning.   She asked me to tell her about the “MOJO of Learning.”   I don’t recall exactly what I said, but I made something up pretty quick on the spot.   After that interview, I called my publicist to inquire about why this radio host was asking me about the “MOJO of Learning.”   Oops she said – that was something I asked her to ask you – so sorry I forgot to tell you.   ha ha ha ha ha.  Well there you have it, a new concept was born right on the spot for me.  I do love having to think on my feet and am great at improv so it was a blast of a good time.

Anyhow, since then MOJO has taken front and center in my vernacular.  The term MOJO – used to mean charm or spell.  Now it refers to talent.  For me, it means getting some energy and enthusiasm coursing through my veins for whatever is exciting me in the moment.  Sometimes my MOJO gets lost beneath a cloud of stress – too much work to do, too much responsibility, too many people needing my attention, too too too.   And then I have a moment where it all lifts and my MOJO comes a roaring back to life.

I just had one such moment.  This wonderful soul filled out the “talk with Michelle” inquiry form.  But she did not complete the transaction to talk with me.  I kept the appointment anyhow  to see what was up and what we could do together.  So thankful I followed my gut on that.   Now, we are organizing a yoga retreat together and we are both so energized and excited (we activated each other’s MOJO).   And in another serendipitous encounter – one of her best friends has my same last name.  I said – oh maybe she married one of my cousins.  Sure enough – she did.  What a small world…..

 

Kate’s comments: How random! That is some seriously funny MOJO – and a bit of a crossover between the two definitions. Something mystical happening in the background to activate each group’s innate talents. I also recall MOJO entering your vernacular when the MOJO golf balls were around in my tween years and we golfed and brunched with Memere on the weekends.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Move It – Day 50

Monday, November 9th, 2015

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Most of what I love could easily fit in this home. Yet I live in places required of the business. Thankfully I have great talent to help me enjoy these places.

Most of what I love could easily fit in this home. Yet I live in places required for the businesses I run. Thankfully I have great talent to help me enjoy this existence.

Yesterday when I woke up I had no idea I would be changing the decor in seven rooms in my Portland hang (essentially the whole house).  My visualist was up for the trade show that was a bust and we were going to make the best of her time here by shooting video’s for an upgrade we are doing on our course “The Happiness Project.” But we got to discussing how we could be using four rooms in this place differently – two were on the third floor and two were on the ground floor.  We needed stuff on the third floor on the ground floor and stuff on the ground floor on the third floor.  Now this I think is what happens to people who use photo shop too much.  Of course we can easily move things here and there, it’s just the click of a mouse…..

Being the true engineer that I am, I wanted to do this project with the least amount of effort (and cost).  So I texted my favorite movers (aptly named “Portland Movers”) to check on their availability (no I do not have them on speed dial).  They sent two guys over within the hour.  Three hours later, we had everything in the places we wanted, and actually reorganized seven rooms (the project expanded).  And these two guys managed to disassemble and reassemble large beds and couches required to move it all.  Plus they also rehung pictures – even moved stuff back up two flights of stairs.  During the process, they also found a dead baby possum in a window well in the back yard.  Since they are movers, they moved that too, right into the garbage.   The total bill for essentially moving the largest items in the house two flights of stairs – both up and down – $150.   I’m sitting here in what is essentially a redecorated place – and everything feels like it’s now exactly where it needs to be.  Well for the time being…..

Loving myself more has always meant to me to hire the right people for the job. So this is not really something new for me to do. I’m a master of efficiency – and I like to get things done fast.  No sense in belaboring the inevitable when I know something needs to happen. When someone asks me to help them move – I ask them – “when and where would you like the moving folks to show up?” (You can well imagine I get very few requests to help people move).  I’m not sure where a requirement of friendship required the hard (and dangerous) physical labor of moving?  If you want to keep your friends or want to be a better friend, when moving, spring for a little help.  Easy enough to find anywhere – Uhaul even has a moving helper app where you find people to assist you for a couple hours.  You can invite your friends over for pizza after the job is done.  They will love you more for this.  I know this, trust me.

 

Kate’s comment: A dead baby possum?!? Sad and gross! That sounds like a really productive day – did you get yourself enough food through the hustle and bustle?

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Serendipity – Day 49

Sunday, November 8th, 2015

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Nostalgia, while nice, doesn't allow for the magic of the moment. While I do miss the New England fall weather, I've never seen this color next to a banana plant in New England.

Nostalgia, while nice, doesn’t allow for the magic of the moment. While I do miss the New England fall weather, I’ve never seen this color next to a banana plant in New England.

Yesterday was a great reminder to follow my gut.  I had gotten myself into a situation where I was at an event I never wanted to do in the first place. I wasn’t even supposed to be here this weekend.  I showed up to placate someone else who thought it was a good idea. It was not the right fit, even though I tried to stay open minded in case I was not seeing things clearly.

I was there with three others and we caucused on if we should stay.  We had unanimous agreement to bale.  We then went and had a delightful afternoon.  We even sold a Happy Aging Yoga mat to a complete stranger while getting pedicures.  Ironically we had just left an event we were at specifically to sell our Happy Aging Yoga Mats, but it was an event more for people looking for psychics and crystals.  On the surface to someone who may not really understand what we are about, this looked like it could be a fit (this was how we ended up there).  Yet the Happiness Project (that includes the Happy Aging Yoga Mat)  is more about activating what is within rather than looking outside yourself for answers.  While I can neither refute nor validate the metaphysical, the programs I create are based in the evidence based scientific realms I move in.  I know my home and who my family is. Our students value us because of our research and subsequent applications that do in fact generate the intended results. There is a place for the mystical and allowing for the mysteries of life – yet I have found a proven formula that works to expand one’s happiness, and it is based on verified practices from cultures around the world.  This metaphysical fair was not the event for us.

Even with calling myself out as a scientist,  I am willing to recognize serendipitous events do happen from time to time.  What happened after pedicures  though was true magic.  I ran into old friends who used to live in one of my homes in Connecticut.  But yesterday, we were in the Pacific Northwest – and it was a very cold, wet miserable day at that.  The type of day that activates my mythological  nostalgia about sunny New England in the fall.  They shared with me their good friend was moving into that  same home we had both lived in.  Their friend was so elated.  We all loved that home and it’s so nice to share in another’s joy we once had.

While this may not seem like such a big deal – it was a big deal for me.  I felt like I was back into the flow of love – loving myself for following my heart and leaving an event that was not the right place for me.

 

Kate’s comment: A few (very legitimate, very famous) scientists dabbled in the supernatural world after their groundbreaking discoveries… but they didn’t find much verifiable evidence in their studies. I agree with you that one or the other isn’t right, but exploring that area is interesting and very intelligent people before us have attempted to legitimize it.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Recognition – Day 48

Friday, November 6th, 2015
Healthy Living Magazine Is profiling the way I created to use accelerated learning principles to teach yoga.

Healthy Living Magazine is profiling the way I  use accelerated learning principles to teach yoga.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

What a big yee haaaaaa! started my day yesterday when I saw that Healthy Living Magazine wrote an article on the accelerated learning program I created to help people learn yoga.  And then to see it is the top article on their website – an even bigger woo hoo!!  It’s very easy to love myself more with this type of publicity.  Maybe deep down, I’m just a media hound.  That is positive media.  And well of course – who wants to read negative stuff about themselves?  And seriously, media aside, who wants to hear negative commentary about themselves anyhow?  I have always thought constructive criticism was just a chance for someone to put an intellectual face on being mean.  I can’t think of a single incidence when constructive criticism ever uplifted another.  While I’m fine with directness, especially when I’ve ruffled their feathers or their’s mine,  this deliberate waiting in the weeds to ambush me with constructive criticism where they have practiced their complaint of me – no thank you.  Constructive criticism needs to stay in the dictionary of Corporate BS.

I wonder how thoughts of recognition bring up my issues with constructive criticism?  It’s pretty easy to unravel this one as from a survival perspective, we stay alive longer by remembering the negative events to avoid.   But I have learned time and time again, whatever we pay attention to, give energy to, lives and stays alive.   When I let it go and don’t give other’s angst any energy,  it ceases to exist – at least in my reality.  The converse is true as well.  Reveling in glory days – it’s nice for a while.  But I do know you are only as good as your next home run.  So continual upgrading is required (and fun) as well who wants to get stagnant?  It’s still nice to get this level of recognition every once in a while though.

 

Kate’s comment: I think that constructive criticism tends to be unproductive because too much emphasis is put on the “criticism” than the “constructive”. I agree that there is no place for constructive criticism in our world today, at least with the current way people use it. My favorite is the “no offense, but…”.

Weight Weight Just Love Me – Filters – Day 47

Friday, November 6th, 2015
When I focus my filters on the areas I influence and control - my abilities to love myself more improve.

When I focus my filters on the areas I influence and control – my abilities to love myself more improve.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Occasionally I get these grand ideas that take me a little bit of time to bring to reality.  One such idea originated in 2010 about creating my own “tarot” cards.  Being of the philosophy though that what we experience in life is from our own hand based on what fate delivers, I wanted these cards to be more of what one could do rather than what happens seemingly beyond our control.  Using the basis of an idea I created in a course we created in 2008 called Project Prosperity, that was an offshoot of my book “Spiritual Money,”  I created a deck of cards we initially called “Opportunity Expansion” cards.   These cards help people figure out how to leverage four non-financial sources of capital to pursue their dreams.  I initially started out using a regular deck of cards where each suit represented one of the four non-financial sources of capital (social, brand, knowledge, and infrastructure).  Each card of the suit had a word associated with it and an idea on how to best leverage that source of capital to achieve your goals.  And recently we just completed our own cards, renaming them “Inspired Eagle” cards.

These cards are done just in time for us to do readings in our booth at Portland’s Body, Mind and Spirit conference this weekend.  So I was practicing with the cards last night.   How much fun!!!  One of the cards I drew was an infrastructure card called “filters.”  Infrastructure Capital is about what do you already have in your life you can draw from to pursue your dreams and goals.  So the filters card is an interesting application of infrastructure capital as our filters are a combination of both conscious and subconscious scripts through which we view the world.  For example, if I see the world through the filter that it is a kind and benevolent place, I will see the kind and benevolent examples that validate this bias.   Here is what this card advises:

“Evaluate the filters through which you view the world. You can and do create new filters based on your life experiences and the choices you make in life. Contemplate how you would prefer your filters to help you perceive the world around you. Practice every day seeing the world you would prefer to see and watch what happens over time with your ability to achieve your dreams and goals.”

This was a great card with which to evaluate just how far I’ve come in this pursuit to create a habit to love myself more.  As every action I now contemplate is run through the filter – what needs to happen here so I am more loving to myself?   Ultimately I can only decide what is in my best and highest good.  I get to choose the filters through which I experience the world.   We each live life through our own filters so how someone else chooses to see me is based on their filters – not mine.

 

Kate’s comment: could another term for “filters” be “reframing”? I love reframing. I recently reframed ranch salad dressing – by making it healthier using lower fat dairy and using my own herbs and spices rather than a pre-made seasoning pack. It reframed it from being an occasional salad treat to something that would completely elevate the taste and health of my vegetable choices.

Michelle’s Response – Reframing is what you do once you realize a filter you have may not be best serving you.   Realize it often enough to create the correct filter so you don’t have to keep reframing.