Weight Weight Just Love Me – WWLD – Day 16
Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT
Here with my father in 2014. It seems like a common drive for parents to want a better life for their children than what they had. How they go about making sure that happens can take some very interesting tactics.
WWLD – What would love do? This is the question I can ask myself when faced with a decision about how to perceive or be in any given situation. I have set up a little process for myself to get into a more loving and contemplative state from which to make the more loving decision – it’s pretty simple actually. I focus on my breath and slow it down – breathing in deeply for a count of four, holding it for four, exhaling to a count of four and holding it for four. I repeat this ten times and see what emerges as the more loving focus on whatever issue it is I face. What I really like about this is I can do this breath practice anywhere at any time and it is me just breathing.
From time to time I have encounters with loved ones where they express some judgement about my appearance or my behavior where I feel less than loved (who the heck hasn’t been on the giving or receiving end of this?). For example, over the past thirty years, I’ve had numerous encounters with my father where within one or two days of seeing him again after a long absence, he inquires something to the effect of “how did you get so fat?” Does this type of question ever get more pleasant to hear? Based on work I did to heal from a brain injury a couple years back, I learned cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). With CBT, I create strategies for handling prospective challenging situations in the future. The WWLD technique is an application of CBT I can use for future encounters with my Dad who in most cases is a very kind, loving, and caring person. The last time he asked me this question, I said, “well geez, I have a feeling it was genetic because I’m quite a bit like you.”
Doing my ten slow, deep breaths – the WWLD response that emerges for that question now is – “I’m the divine ideal just the way I am. This is somehow part of a grand plan that continues to show itself how it is absolute perfection just the way it is.” Luckily I have several months (and 52 more days of this habit change) before the next time I see him to contemplate more WWLD type of responses to this question.
Kate’s comment: it sounds like the WWLD response moves in the direction of letting things roll off your back. Even when a question is framed as a personal attack, WWLD moves it away from the insult being about the subject. With WWLD, the issue lies with the initiator (the one who says “how did you get so fat?”); not the recipient.
