Weight Weight Just Love Me – Presentation – Day 57

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Love is the key ingredient in every amazing presentation.

Love is the key ingredient in every amazing presentation.

I read a great article in Psychology Today yesterday about the futility of weight loss.   One of the reasons that so resonated with me was the one on the idea that you will “look” better at a lower weight.    This paragraph brought home the whole essence of this 66 day challenge to love myself more:

“For argument’s sake, let’s say that you had your “ideal body” and were supremely happy with your appearance. The reality of life remains that our bodies will change as we age, so, ultimately, putting all of your worth and value into your appearance is akin to boarding a sinking ship…..

…..What if instead of trying to manipulate or control your weight, you focused on loving and accepting your body exactly as it is now?”

I’ve noticed that people who were really gorgeous, as in model gorgeous, when they were younger actually seem to suffer more from nostalgia about the good ole’ days then those of us who were more plan o plan o.  I was actually fortunate to have had to work on my own internal joie de vivre rather than focusing on my external appearance.  This afforded me the luxury of spending more time in making a difference in the world rather than on striving towards some unrealistic appearance ideal of who I never was going to be anyhow.  I am after all short, and round with brown hair and brown eyes.  A decade ago a friend’s parents had visited my homes, yet had not met me after a couple years of seeing where I lived.  Her mother said to her, “I envision Michelle is a tall willowy blonde.”  It is a kick too when people meet me in person and are surprised I look like I do – the comment usually is – “you are so much shorter than I envisioned.”  We live in such a biased world about what people feel a successful women (even person) should look like.  I still remember the sting of a short lived public relations (PR) advisor who said he could not promote me until I lost 5o pounds as he did not like my “presentation.”  Yeah, he did not stick around for long in that PR position.

I do however agree presentation does matter. But presentation is so much more than external physical appearance.  What matters is how people feel when they are around you. Do they feel loved, appreciated, seen, heard, valued and acknowledged for the special gifts they share?  My daughter Kate is very good at this.  I remember one such time when she was in eighth grade and I had gone to her school to watch her final year end project presentation.  A boy before her was so visibly nervous about his presentation.  He was not as visually prepared as the other kids with their final projects – yet it was obvious he had put a lot of time into crafting his presentation with the comedic timing of his story.  I sent him love throughout and when all the kids were done, I sought him out.  I told him his story helped me recognize how important it was to love people for who they were (he was teasing his mother for her perpetual dieting) and that I really enjoyed his sense of humor and his diligence with how he kept his topic light and fun (it was all about love and acceptance).  He so lit up and Kate pointed out to me how I had this knack for making people’s day by acknowledging their genius. I felt so seen for my gifts by her recognizing this in me.

Presentation for me is about congruence.  Do all the parts line up?   My sweetheart is fantastic at presentation with food – but what makes it even more incredible is the flavor lines up as well.  The love and devotion put into crafting the meal comes in for the home run with the final presentation.  In a world of window dressing where we have photo shop’d perfection,  experiencing presentation that permeates many layers deep activates my heart.  With loving myself more, I realize I’m just sensing the mirror of my own well spring of love – this is how I present to the outside world as well.


Kate’s comment: when people let me help them with their weight loss journeys, I start by asking what their motivations are. I tell them they don’t have to tell me right there and then – sometimes motivations take awhile to make themselves clear. They don’t even need to tell me, if it’s too personal or difficult to say – what matters is that they know their motivation. Most of the time clients say, “I want to lose 30 pounds for my high school reunion so I look as good as I did then” – which totally resonates with what you said about people who peak and suffer from nostalgia.

I ask them to look a bit deeper into why they might want to lose weight. Because a weight loss journey is a path, people normally hit upon the “love thy body no matter the image” crossroad – do we keep going with the healthy lifestyle, or do we quit because the motivation was skin-deep, and we learn to love ourselves no matter what?

If the motivation is health-based (like: I want to decrease my cholesterol so that I can survive to watch my kid graduate high school), this is much more likely to stick through the tough times and the positive body-image crossroad.

Positive body-image is a really excellent milestone to hit – which is why it would be disappointing if it derailed other excellent milestones. The sooner body-image is separated from health, the better.

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