Feb 3 – Got Conflict?

Cheetah Certified Project Manager (CCPM) Tip of the Day

It only takes one person changing to change a destructive dynamic

It only takes one person changing to change a destructive dynamic

February 3 – The source of conflict is caused by differing expectations. Determine your expectations first. Then discover areas for possible alignment with others.


Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP

Emotional maturity is based on the characteristics you bring to every encounter in your life. When you show up in a fault-finding mode with blaming, criticizing, whining, arguing, or you leave in a huff with a whatever, get lost, I’m done attitude – this actually hurts the development of a healthy neurological response for future encounters. Being crazy makes you crazier. The “let it all hang out” construct leaves you all strung-out. When you can commit to emotional maturity in every relationship in your life, you develop the neural network patterning for deeper, more trusting relationships and connections. Think about the type of people you would prefer to hang out with – those that are quick to fly off the handle at the slightest provocation, or the steady eddy’s of the world who take anything that comes their way with grace and ease. Who would you rather be?

When you take the time to understand how your expectations color your responses, you get to make a conscious choice about how you would prefer to respond. This is a place of power rather than being a slave to your conditioned responses. When you find yourself getting sucked into a response pattern you feel no longer allows your most mature self to show up, stop. Take ten deep breaths. Give yourself time to pause and absorb just why you are reacting the way you are. Go for a walk, get moving, and shake things up. You’ll find yourself getting more detached from the heat of the moment. Then, make a more reasoned choice on the long-term outcome you’d prefer to have and figure out a response that brings you closer to creating that.

Think about this – if you do consider the counterpart you are dealing with “insane” – you cannot change an insane person. Even thinking you can change an insane person is insane. So, be the sane person and change your response. You might just be amazed what will happen. I learned this with an ongoing, heated email exchange with a close friend. Neither of us was going to back down. It wasn’t until one of us took a sane position and stopped did this crazy response pattern stop. It just takes one sane person to change the dynamic. Commit to being sane and mature. Watch everything in your life align in a healthier flow.

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