Weight Weight Just Love Me – A Cautionary Tale – Day 3

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

I was recently visiting my family and they were watching the reality TV show – “My Big Fat Life.”   My sister and her partner over the past two years have given up sugar and carbs and each lost about 80 pounds.   A remarkable weight loss effort.  They watch “My Big Fat Life” as a cautionary tale to encourage themselves to stay the course with their weight loss efforts.

Reflections May Not Be Accurate Indicator of Who You Are

Reflections May Not Be Accurate Indicator of Who You Are

It didn’t have the same impact on me – what I saw was so much self – loathing behavior and body shaming on the show.  It was as if these people’s very existence was being treated as if they were absolute failures as human beings.  The question though – Is this is how I view myself?   How much does my own fat bias extend to me?

Fast forward a couple days later – I’m at the airport with my photographer.  This woman has been working with me for ten years for my businesses.  She takes such amazing pictures of me – I always look so fantastic. Now whenever I hear someone complain how they look in photos, I say – it’s because you need a better photographer.  My photographer is stunningly beautiful – she was one of the first bum models for Banana Republic (it’s probably why she captures such great images).  She had a brief interaction with a counter agent from American Airlines – the agent was so incredibly rude to her – far more rude than anything I’ve ever had to experience.  Is there a greater bias these days for being beautiful than for being heavy?   Who amongst us has not experienced some level of judgement based on our looks – regardless of what those looks are?  And who has not been their own worst critic at times?

I agree with what Matt Kahn says – the way to increase the amount of love in the world is to start with myself.  If how we perceive the world is a reflection of how we perceive ourselves, spending sometime creating a different reflective frame makes sense.  We all create our own perceptions, experiences, and preferences (restrictions, limits, and expansions as well) – whether we are conscious of it or not.  So, I’m going to reframe how I see those folks on the reality show – “My Big Fat Life.”  Here are brave souls who love themselves and want to experience life in some new ways.  The same is true for me.

Kate’s comment: Body-shaming is so disappointing – people feel that it’s their right to judge others’ bodies. It also makes being brave to experience life in new ways very difficult, as a portion of our identities are based on others’ perceptions of us. Therefore, if body shaming is occurring all around us, it can be difficult to tune it out and listen to our own identities. Good for you for ignoring the haters and determining your own identity – and changing it as you go, however you see fit.

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