Michelle LaBrosse Blogs

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Loving myself more is taking on more subtle nuances – just like my Bolognese.

I’ve been making spaghetti on Wednesdays for 43 years now.  When I was ten years old I offered to start making dinner for the family as both my parents worked and were tired when they got home. Plus I really enjoyed being in the kitchen.   I remember the recipe back then – toss onions, peppers, mushrooms, a tablespoon each of dried oregano, basil, and parsley, a couple tablespoons of vegetable oil, a pinch of salt and pepper, and a pound of ground beef into a large stock pot.  Easy enough for a ten year old to do.  Then once that is all cooked, add in two large cans of stewed tomatoes, two large cans of tomato sauce and two small cans of tomato paste. Cover and cook on low for an hour or two (go out and play).  Come back in fifteen minutes before dinner.  Put a large pot of water on with a little salt and some oil.  Add in two boxes of regular spaghetti. Make a tossed salad with iceberg lettuce, hot house tomatoes, peeled cucumbers, some celery.  Get out the Italian salad dressing.   It served our family of eight – no leftovers (we rarely had leftovers).

I did not deviate from my mother’s recipe for decades (including the taking off to “play” while the sauce simmered).  Yes I tried out my Italian friend’s recipes for “Sunday sauce” where you make a stock of pork and beef bones – just was never the same as “Mom’s.”   But then I went to cooking school in Parma, Italy and got more into where my food came from. I had already started the shift to only grass fed beef when I raised my own cattle.  When I learned of the toxins now in canned tomato’s (from the canning process), I shifted to only fresh tomatoes. In Italy I learned how much more delicious fresh tomatoes’ roasted in the oven were over anything in a can.  And I also learned the concept of layering and just why a whole head of garlic sweated in some very good cold pressed olive oil was critical to a good Bolognese.  I discovered how grating a lemon peel and adding in the  juice of that lemon into the garlic right after the sweating, kept the essence of the garlic but took out the bite of too much garlic. I learned the value of both dried and fresh herbs and when to use them at different times to increase the complexity of the sauce.  My Mom had it right to add in the dried herbs in the sauté.   Now I put them in right after the lemon and crush them in my hands right before. Letting them roll around in that heating melee for a while while I dice a shallot into small bits. While I’m roasting the tomatoes, I also toss in the peppers.  Let the whole scene cool, and dice up the peppers first – into the growing layers they go.  The grass fed beef goes in after the peppers.  The last veggie to the scene are the cooled peeled roasted tomatoes I squeeze into the sauce by hand making sure the hard center part stays out.  After a half hour of getting to know each other then comes the flavoring – a little red wine, a little brown sugar, maybe a small dash of fish sauce, a little salt.  Right at the end, I put in about a half cup of finely chopped basil and some fresh oregano.

I was contemplating yesterday just how different my Bolognese is now vs. before.  The main ingredient for both is still love.  That is a constant in everything I do.  I grew up in suburbia and we got all our food from Stop and Shop.  We had a large pantry filled with canned goods.  Now I have access to an organic food co-op and every Wednesday they have a farmers market (that is if I have not grown all the ingredients myself).  Even in early November, I am still able to get organic heirloom tomatoes, peppers, shallots, garlic, basil, oregano.  I often have a hundred pounds or so of ground beef in my freezer from my latest grass fed cow.  I no longer have to prepare dinner for 8 – usually it’s just me and one or two others or just me.  Which means I get to enjoy this meal several more times.  So it helps that the sauce just keeps getting better as it ages.  Some folks get the nuanced difference of what I do, some do not.  It doesn’t matter much to me as I do and I’m the one who is enjoying it.

It’s nice to have decades long mastery in some basics that I keep building on and developing.  Loving myself more is becoming just like my Bolognese – getting more layered with enhanced subtle nuances where I most notice the difference upon reflection.

Kate’s comment: when you made the bolognese in Haines, it made me dance. It was that good. That food was definitely love.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Twenty two years ago picture of my little pumpkins with the pumpkin harvest from our garden.

I get the wonderful good fortune to walk my little dog several times a day – sometimes these walks are more wonderful than others. Like when I am in a good clip getting close to the finish line on a pressing deadline and she just needs to go out. Living on a busy street with no yard, this means our standard walk around the block to take care of business.  And she has it timed to make sure we get 7/8th around the block before taking the required action.  As I was grumbling about this on our walk yesterday, it only took me about 1/2 way around to get into the proper mindset and enjoy the short respite away from the computer. And what pulled me into a more pleasant reverie?   A Pumpkin.

Pumpkins and me go way back.  Not sure when I started calling my small children pumpkin – but it was always a term of endearment around our home.  And then I have my famous pumpkin bagels that is one of my blog posts that gets the most views.  Those always provide a lovely charge to the home whenever I take the time to make them every other year or so.   And  now I share a car with my daughter  we call “pumpkin” as it looks just like a pumpkin.  Yesterday’s pumpkin influence that pulled me into a more loving  space was about making use of my halloween pumpkins.  You see I never got around to carving them and it seemed like I could put them to good use.  (Kind of reminded me on how my mother would have us color our easter eggs at the last minute so we could then eat them…..)

I sometimes feel like Forrest Gump and shrimp with respect to pumpkins – roasted pumpkin, pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, pumpkin bagels, pumpkin custard, pumpkin curry, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin pie,  even pumpkin in my homemade dog food.   The rest of my walk was consumed with how I was going to prepare this delightful pumpkin soup for dinner after I used part of it for this week’s dog food.  (inspired by my friend Kerry, I now make my own dog food).   Loving myself more, has helped me love my dog more.  I used to feel it was too indulgent to make the dog  her own food but it dawned on me – I love making my dog her favorite food – so of course this is what I now do.

We got home from the walk, it took me less than five minutes to wrap up my work project and I got to start on all the lovely things I could do with my halloween pumpkins. I even get to enjoy the leftover pumpkin soup for lunch and my pup – she just devoured her breakfast that included, well pumpkin.

Kate’s comment: that explains why I was so motivated to make use of my pumpkins this year! I couldn’t stand the thought of wasting all that good food. It’s in my DNA to be obsessed with pumpkins.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

I am especially happy where I find myself today – right here, right NOW.

Living a vital, vibrant life is what I mean when I say ” I have arrived.”  It’s the living life large and in charge – this is who I am and this is how I move through the world.  Choose to get on board the train of loving all that is just the way it is, or accept my smile and polite wave  as I speed on by as the good will blessing it’s meant to be.  I invite others on a similar journey to engage and align our love ourselves more trains for a time.  If we find something captivating where or  how each other is traversing this plane let’s  learn and expand in new ways – until either one of us feels done, for now.  Hmmm, it feels  like I’m writing a personal ad for an online dating service….

Getting to this place of shaking free of all that no longer served me has opened up a portal to significantly expanded creativity.  It’s also provided much needed energy and enthusiasm to move onward and upward with several new exciting initiatives with my two businesses – Cheetah Learning and Inspired Eagle. I feel more called to do my work the way I enjoy doing it with the people who I love working with day to day.  Do all leaders wonder at times if they suffer from delusions of grandeur when they embark on a grand vision?  For right now, being here, standing tall in the tallness of who I am sharing the gifts I have with the world in the way I best share them is more about showing up as who I really am.  It makes no sense to minimize myself to help others feel adequate. False humility does not help me better serve others.  Being a humble and faithful servant for others by leveraging  who I uniquely am for the betterment of all though is a different matter. I’m learning the difference in today’s pursuit of loving myself more.

Kate’s comment: I never knew if successful leaders had confidence built from their success or if their confidence was the reason behind their success… kind of a leadership chicken and the egg situation. What do you think?

Michelle’s Response – I find leadership to be both an innate personality trait and an acquired skill.  It is also situational based on confidence in a specific area – that grows and improves over time.  For example, I have great leadership skills in creating businesses – and many people trust me enough to follow me into new business ventures.  This is from having a proven track record of creating and running a successful venture that has stood the test of time.  At times though when visiting somewhere new, I do walk around with authority acting like I know where I’m going (when I don’t).  I joke that I learned that in the Air Force – to lead when I have no idea where I’m heading.   So to answer your question – I do think it’s an egg thing – leaders are born, but to become a great leader, now that takes some conscious effort.

When the fog clears, it really is all sunshine and rainbows….

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

I’ve said for years the secret to my success was doing the next logical thing.  Sometimes though when it’s really cloudy and foggy out where I can’t even see my hand when I put it out in front of me, it’s hard to see where that next logical step is.   Then all of a sudden the fog lifts and I see the path clearly laid out before me with everything I need to take my journey at my finger tips.  When this type of magic happens in my life, I move on it.  Today is such a day.

First, I’m now firmly grounded in loving myself more – it’s a my daily devotional practice.  So when I find myself anywhere other than in loving myself more – I shift fast.  This includes when in a fog – I just enjoy the cozy comforting all nestled in  that being in a fog allows.  Beating myself about being in the fog will not make the fog lift any faster.  And the winds of change do appear often enough I now know the fog yes will soon lift.  It reminds me of the book Siddartha – where his main skills are that he can fast, wait and think.  This is really all I need to do when living in a fog.

It’s now where I am with renewed clarity after being in a fog where I’m ready to prancercise on down the path before me.   Okay maybe not to the prancercise’s folks level of a gallop – but you get my idea.  I’ve learned through this 66 day challenge the decisions I make that are in my best and highest good, are also in the best and highest good for all – even if they choose to see things otherwise.  We are each on our own journey through life.  While I may cross paths with others and decide to take a different route based on what I learn from them – that is my choice.  How my path aligns with another is also a temporary thing – we each get to choose with whom we walk through life and for how long.  After all children grow up, parents pass away, friends relocate for work, significant relationships become less significant, jobs requirements change……  Learning how to love myself more has helped me navigate my way through the fog to find the clearly marked path of happiness in this loving myself more journey.   I’ve arrived.

Kate’s comment: What you said about life changing but loving ourselves staying the same – I love that this is a constant. People think that when life goes to shambles, all of it does – why can’t a few pillars remain as a stabilizer?

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Increased confidence is showing up in some interesting ways with this challenge….

I have noticed recently I have more confidence in a number of different areas of my life of late. Could it be from learning how to love myself more?  It does show up in areas where I am following my heart.

As a business owner at times I’ve had to make the hard calls and make a move that created disruption for another’s life. This often comes with great consternation and much contemplation. Ultimately it does work out better for the other person in ways they could have never imagined – still it is me who pulls the trigger on the much needed change.

I strive to make these required changes with kindness and compassion even though I realize for the one experiencing the unwanted change it hardly ever feels this way. Being an empath my heart goes out to them – yet more often than not the other experiences as much if not more relief than I do from the change. And it got me wondering what other options do I have rather than going so far over the edge to accommodate another – sometimes to my own detriment?  When did I sign on as another’s be all end all of comfort and ease until death do us part?  How can I more confidently make changes that better suit the direction we need to head without the pull of the heart strings from the person or people we need to move away from to get there?  The answer to all these questions lies in learning how to love myself more.

Sometimes I beat myself up pretty hard when pushed to the edge where I must initiate a change in the business that impacts another in ways they do not like. Yesterday when talking about one such challenge with my sweetheart, I was called out on doing just that – beating myself up.  I think I referred to myself as a moron for even getting into the position I’m in.  Yet I had and have the confidence in my current course to take swift and proper action.  So how much of a moron can I really be?

Contrasted with the self flagellation of the business challenge is this new  pursuit to take on a complex craft project of the magnitude I have not attempted since college when my Mom was around to offer her sage guidance. Yet now I have more confidence to pursue it – and the learning curve is immense and intense. I’m not going to disclose the nature of this project as it is a Christmas surprise for someone who may read my blog from time to time.  As I’ve worked my way through the bumps and bumbles of reaquainting myself with the skills I have to do this project, my confidence is building.  And while I do not have Mom to lean on anymore, I do have google.  It’s amazing the you tube videos out there showing technique in exquisite detail.

Loving myself more gave me the confidence to follow my heart and pursue this complex Christmas project.  While pursuing this project is increasing my confidence, it is bleeding over to the business and I’m standing tall in my decision that it is the just and right action for right now.  It feels as if the weight of the world just lifted off my shoulders.  Interesting how many ways loving myself more is enhancing my existence.

Kate’s comment: Regarding the situation you’re talking about, and beating yourself up about it, and the empathy you were experiencing – you were experiencing empathy for everyone but yourself. Once you explained the situation to me, I couldn’t see it any other way – you were being empathetic to everyone else.

 Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Thankfully this beautiful werewolf did not have some of these features when she was born 26 years ago..

Almost 26 years ago my life changed in so many wonderful ways I could have never scripted with the birth of my first daughter. Today I find myself contemplating  how I experience the most expansive changes in life.  Usually these come from the largest challenges I take on – like becoming a mother.

It is also Halloween. To celebrate, my pup and I are wearing the color of the season – orange. My “baby” is a werewolf.  I’m very thankful it’s 26 years later and I’m not waiting for a week overdue baby to  come into the world. I’m also very thankful she is only a werewolf on Halloween. Lots for me to celebrate.

While some see Halloween, with all the ghosts and goblins, as a celebration of the sinister underworld, I prefer it’s juxtaposition to All Saints Day – November 1 and All Souls Day on November 2nd.  Historically this trifecta of Catholic holidays was a call to action to remember the dead (and the path they took or did not take to get to heaven) and be inspired from this remembrance to live in god’s good graces (so you can get to heaven).  I understand the origins of this three day Catholic observance as I  know how much being rattled to deep discomfort inspires me to initiate changes.  The ghastly level of darkness I’ve felt before a significantly uplifting opening has happened often enough that I learned to embrace my own darkness as a launching place towards an upgraded existence – it’s as if a new saint emerges to guide me.  Yet I also know there is another, lighter way to upgrade my existence.  To shine the light on this path,  I just have to reflect on what I’ve learned from my first born.

Presently, I’m faced with several business challenges simultaneously.  These pale in comparison to the joy I feel from my daughter’s existence and the celebration of her life as I am planning for her 26th birthday. Loving myself more means releasing my resistance to challenges and allowing euphoric excitement of a new creative pursuit as inspiration.  Just like the delight that’s been my reality every day with this very special soul who joined me on All Souls Day 26 years ago.

 

Kate’s comment: Happy Birthday Anne!!!

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Its a dark and cloudy day made vibrant and alive by the splash of fall color. The happiest people I know adorn their lives with the brightest colors – whether it be the colors they paint their homes, to the clothes they wear, to the cars they drive.  It’s the vibrant burst of colors that puts a spring in my step no matter what the weather is.  It’s why my voice mail messages states – it’s a wonderful day wherever I am.

A few years back, my brother forwarded me an article in the New York Times about how the woman of Haines, Alaska were the worst dressers. Why  care about the opinion of a reporter who most likely only wears black?  And obviously completely misses the point of the wardrobe preferences of people who live in most likely the happiest (and healthiest) small town in America.

Loving myself more means wearing the brightest colors I can find and enjoying my outfit choices as ultimately it is me who I am serving with how I choose to color my life.

Kate’s comment: So what if Alaska is one of the least fashionable places out there! The lower 48 must just not understand Carhartts, Xtratufs, or puffy coats.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP, RYT

Kate Fossman, the Haines Dietitian, is helping Haines, Alaska stay the Healthiest Small Town in America by working with the local grocery store Olerud’s to label which are the healthy food choices.

Most of the time I know the right things to eat to keep myself in vibrant good health,  but sometimes it’s hard to make the right decision when it comes to “show time.”  And for me “show time” happens two specific times – the first one when I’m feeling rushed while out grocery shopping and the second when I’m famished at home grabbing for the closest thing that looks like it will satisfy my hunger, fast.   So you can well imagine my delight with the bold step taken by my favorite grocery store in Haines, Alaska.   You may have heard of Haines, Alaska as the outdoor adventure capital  – but one of the reasons for this is because Haines, Alaska may also be the healthiest small town in America.  They have a thriving community that supports health in every dimension.  This is where my dietitian Kate, hangs her shingle.  It is for this very reason she set up her practice there. After all, how can you happily pursue an adventurous outdoor lifestyle in anything other than optimal health?

Okay, enough waxing poetic about my utopia Haines.  Just what is it my favorite grocery store, Olerud’s, is doing to help me be a vital member of one of the healthiest small towns in America?  Kate approached them about labeling the foods in their store as “healthy, healthier, or healthiest!”.  This is no small feat as she analyzes everything on the shelves and puts it through her dietitian filter to identify how well these foods will help all of us who shop there make the best decisions for our vitality.  What is so fantastic is Olerud’s is excited about participating.  Grocers live on such small margins and we know it is sometimes the unhealthiest of foods that bring in the biggest profits.  For them to side on the health of the people of Haines, is ultimately the wisest move for their bottom line though as people will be able to trust they have their best interests at heart.  Isn’t that what we want in people who we count on to provide us our daily bread?   So Thank YOU Olerud’s for taking bold steps for all of our enduring good health.   And THANK YOU Kate for following through on this fantastic idea.

Kate’s comment: I would love to echo that “thank YOU” to Olerud’s – and send a thank you for the shout out about it being a big feat! It’s a week long project to get the tags on the shelves, plus a bi-monthly commitment to maintain the tags. I expect people to take them (they do have my contact information if anyone would like to get in touch with me) and move them along the shelves (especially if they’re mischievous). I’m so happy to be a part of the healthiest small town in America!

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI-ACP,RYT

The joys of a clean counter is what is creating more love in my life today.

Two t’s are two t’s too many in the word clutter.  Remove the r too, and you have clue – as in get a clue.  When there is too much clutter it’s hard to get a clue. After being gone from the home front for months on end, only popping in to do my laundry and pack for my next adventure, I felt the need today to tame the clutter monster that had over taken my favorite room in the house – the kitchen.  Well, plus I am totally inspired after working in the amazing kitchen at cooking school.  Great time to harness the inspiration from that experience to whip my kitchen into shape. Before that could happen though, I had to go through months of mail, and various things that had gravitated to the top of the counter from other people’s ideas of what needed to be there. (I have many guests in and out of my place). And lets not even get into what was in that fridge – a little scary.

It got me contemplating – where is there clutter in the landscape of how I love myself?  Am I holding onto loving others more than myself to my own detriment?  Like how did I graciously accept where others thought things belonged in my kitchen even though it wasn’t suited to my tastes?  Does my desire to get along at the expense of my own preferences cause clutter in my heart?  I do have to admit though I feel so great sitting here in this beautiful kitchen that is clean and clutter free from my own hand – and it is just this moment I have to be more loving to myself.  So thank you to all those who helped me create this very moment as I do realize it was from a place of love you were in my kitchen enjoying it in your own unique ways as well.  (Or possibly doing what you thought would bring me more happiness).

At times my desires to have things the way I want them, inspire others to call me a “princess.” Yet, I am not a princess, I am a Queen. I was named the Queen of Mud Bay years ago when I got this house on the point (in Mud Bay). When I sold that house, I happily gave that title over to the new owner. I did like being a Queen though and am in fact the Queen of my own life. As the Queen, I do have a say in how I would like my world to be and clutter, well it makes me just a bit crazy.

When my children were young and they would bring home the vast amount of papers from school – some made it to sacred display zone – posted on the fridge. But most seemed like someone had left the door open on a fall day  and were strewn around the house like fallen leaves. Routinely we’d put on our favorite clean the house music, and more often than not, these random school papers found their way into this catchall box by the front door.  It was like the black hole of school papers – went in but never came out.  I do occasionally find one of the girls elementary school papers amongst important office papers, in stray boxes that get unloaded in my office when I move, and it’s always a bitter sweet moment.  How they came to arrive there is always a mystery – the open door in fall analogy is all I can figure.  I’ve moved several times since the girls elementary days and that catchall box by the front door has packed along.  Years later, I happened by the box one day in the basement of the home I was living in at the time – when they were both in college.  I opened it – yes all those papers were still in there, mixed in with dog toys, and other scattered remnants of our earlier life.  I was at once relieved and at the same time nostalgic for those clutter filled days of little ones with their never ending papers from school.

So clutter – it’s something I do love and at the same time, I love to enjoy a space when I’ve cleaned the clutter.  The operative word here is love.  Loving myself more is helping me love all elements of an artifact many people love to hate – clutter.  I prefer to love to love clutter – both it’s existence and it’s non-existence.  Clutter means life, means caring, means community, means family – all the things I love.  Clutter also means cleaning clutter which is oh so satisfying on this cold and rainy fall day.

Kate’s comment: I love finding old clutter, too! It needs to age to gather that nostalgia – otherwise it’s just a pain. But, gosh, did the thought of fall leaves blowing around bring back east coast memories of playing in the front yard. I have this theory about clutter – most of us have a different level of clutter we are happy with before we hit a tipping point and MUST clean up. If we can find someone with the same tipping point as us, we should keep them close – they’re our modern soul mate.

Everything thrives (including me) when I respond with loving kindness.

Michelle LaBrosse, CCPM, PMP, PMI- ACP, RYT

I am writing this blog post on my iPhone as I am in the car driving home from the incredible week of cooking school and yoga retreat. (I am not driving). Being on the iPhone I got to thinking about how much I enjoy mobile responsive websites. And I realized I pretty much enjoy any type of response that makes my life better.

About twenty years ago I created a course on customer service. This was the predecessor to how I teach best friend customer service to my staff at Cheetah.  My team strives to treat every encounter with the same level of care and kindness they show to their best friends.  The key here is responsiveness.  What we have found over time is we attract kind and caring students as well.  In that early customer service course, I had students explore the idea there are no discontinuities in life – you can have even better customer service when you show up as a great customer.

Looking through this lens – when I respond to myself with kindness and compassion, I’m more capable of responding to others the same way.  I was raised Catholic and I recall one of the teachings was “love your neighbor as yourself.”  So it just goes to reason the more I learn how to love myself, the more capabilities I develop to respond to others in kind.  So this is not just a gift I’m giving myself.  Loving myself more is enabling me to respond to others in more loving ways as well.

Kate’s comment: I took that picture of you and Top (that’s the kitten – his brother’s name is Tip)! As for getting better customer service when you’re a great customer – that is so true. In private practice, I’ve been working a lot with insurance companies to see what benefits my patients have. I try to be nice to them, and I find that they are nice right back! When I don’t get an answer that I’m satisfied with, I ask permission if I can ask a few more questions (which will hopefully lead me to the answer that I’m happy with). I also use their name – in nice ways, of course. Like saying, “Thank you, Thomas. I really appreciate you helping me with this”. Dale Carnegie said “a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. Boy, is that ever true!

Treating yourself with the same kindness you treat others is a great method to make you like yourself more – just don’t say your own name too much. That’s the makings of becoming a crazy cat lady.